The Rodent: Lunch Break
by Alteng
Summary: Another sotryof that amazing Time Lady, the Rodent. And the Doctor is in this one, too. Hey! What better thing for two Time Lords to do than grab a lunch at McDonald's! Please R&R and let me know you're out there!


This is the second story in the adventures of that strange little Time Lady called most fondly The Rodent. This story more or less tells you where I am from by its setting. Cincinnati has changed a lot in the last few years, but what good is time travel if you can't go to the past.  
  
Lunch Break  
  
Mikey, K-9, and Alandis absolutely refused to allow me anywhere near the kitchen. What a bummer! You must understand that I get packages from the inter-galactic mail every week or so from dad.. Now, dad is a peculiar sort and has the distinct tendency of visiting many and various planets and killing many and various inhabitants with a little device that he fondly calls the TCE. Then he sends me souvenirs, that I usually keep in the freezer. This tended to irritate Miriel, my fourth companion. So, it served an even better purpose. Now, the freezer was in the kitchen, and that place was now off limits to me. I should have never reconnected Mikey's stun gun! Miriel was my happy homemaker, who enjoyed cooking and cleaning (but I enjoy my mess!), but she flitted off to places unknown in the TARDIS. She said it was time to change. She had been gone for a week now. I'm usually gone for an hour at most when I change. She was gone for a week now It is true that my cooking is the kind you write home about . . . well, in a laughing way to describe how bad can bad be. Geez! I don't know what my companions' gripe might be! Mikey was a dalek, and being a cyborg, regular human food was not a prerequisite. K-9 was content with a can of WD-40., that he often shared with Mikey. My cooking was a bit well done for Alandis, but he was a vampire. Hell! Miriel's cooking was too well done for him. He usually lived off a compound he chemically created. So, with all things considered, I thought I might be generous and take the crew to McDonald's.  
  
I talked real sweet to George, my TARDIS, and set the coordinates for Earth. Our trip went well, and George even landed the TARDIS nicely. We didn't even crash this time. I looked outside, and the bright afternoon sun shone down on the doorway. I looked back at Alandis.  
  
"I guess this trip won't be much fun for you," I said to him.  
  
He looked puzzled at me. (He's so cute when he does that!!) "Other than the fact that I don't eat human food?"  
  
"That's not what I mean."  
  
"Oh?"  
  
"It's the middle of the afternoon."  
  
"So?"  
  
"It's a sunny day."  
  
"Yes. I would hate to go traipsing around in the rain and the snow. I'm certain that K-9 and Mikey would like it even less."  
  
"Won't you roll over and die or become dust in the wind or whatnot in direct sunlight?"  
  
"No," he answered unaffected by my remarks.  
  
"Oh," I answered with recompose.  
  
I stepped out of the TARDIS. My three companions followed. George had become a blue police box for this trip. This was odd even for George. I mean a blue police box would be out of place in downtown Cincinnati. I recognized the city as Cincinnati. I've been here before . . . several times, in fact. The out of place bit was normal for George. It made finding my TARDIS easy enough. Just look for the most out of place object, but the only time that George was a blue police box was when the Doctor's TARDIS was around. I don't ask, and I don't want to know! Anyway, I looked around behind the TARDIS, and sure enough there was another blue police box.  
  
"The Doctor!" I exclaimed happily, "And maybe the fifth Doctor at that!"  
  
I ran around to the doors of the TARDIS and Knocked. I prissed myself up a bit. The door opened and the resident Doctor stuck his chubby curly blonde head out. Drat! The sixth Doctor! Oh well, he's kind of cute too, and this could prove a fun adventure after all!  
  
"Hi there! I'm the Rodent. Remember me?" I said.  
  
He came out of the TARDIS. I guess nt. Geez! His clothes were gaudier than mine! His wore a mishmesh of patches for a frock coat with yellow and black stripped trousers. Where can I get a suit like this one! He puzzled me a moment. I do have then his eyes grew wide with fear. I do have that effect on people who have met me before! The Doctor held up his arms in surrender.  
  
"Doctor?" came an overly high pitched voice, "What are you doing?" A small red haired woman came out of the TARDIS.  
  
Mikey must have felt that she was a threat. So, he zapped her. "Oh dear!" I said, "Your companion seems to be unconscious."  
  
"Unconscious?" he said, "but . . . but . . . daleks are the deadliest race in the known universe. They don't just stun threats."  
  
"Good gracious! You think I would travel the universe with a fully armed normal dalek! Mikey is neither. He's okay. He just hates everything, but I have managed to program most of the intense violence out of him."  
  
"A good dalek?" he asked as he lowered his hands.  
  
"I wouldn't go that far," I answered.  
  
"He zapped Mel. He's a good dalek," he concluded.  
  
"Let me introduce my other companions. This is K-9, whom I found . . . uh . . . in the garbage in my travels. . . ." Well, it was partially true. I wasn't about to say 'I filched him off of your fourth incarnation', now was I. "He sort of works. He's got a few hiccups I haven't worked out yet." And to prove my point, K-9 proceeded to hiccup.  
  
"I always figured I jetisoned him with Romana's old room. She had been trying to make one of her own. She always copied everything that I did. Oh well, I guess he junked him long ago."  
  
I smiled. I wasn't going to point out that on the bottom of K-9 was written "This Dog is the Esteemed Property of the Doctor. Please Return If Lost'. "My other companion is Alandis."  
  
I looked around. Alandis was nowhere to be found. I held up a hand for the Doctor to wait a moment, then I went around to my TARDIS door. Alandis was there trying to claw his way back inside.  
  
I put my hands on my hips. "Where are your manners, boy?"  
  
"He's a real Time Lord," he said in a hushed voice, "We'll both be in trouble! I want to die, but I'd like to do it honorably and fighting--not an execution. Besides, he probably will take you down with me."  
  
"Poppycock! You hide your nature well. You're certainly like no vampire that I have ever heard of! I whispered back, "Besides, you are suspicious by your absence."  
  
I grabbed his wrist and pulled him around the two TARDISes to stand before the Doctor. Alandis' cheeks flushed pink. "Hello, Doctor," he said nervously.  
  
The Doctor looked him over puzzled for a moment. "Nevermind, Alandis ," I replied, "He doesn't get out much. Anyway, we're going to McDonald's. Would you like to join us?"  
  
"McDonald's! Real food! Most definitely!"  
  
We rifled Mel's pockets and came up with œ50. The Doctor chunked her body back into the TARDIS, and we went to the bank to get American dollars.  
  
I led the way through the streets of Cincinnati, because I knew the city the best out of the five of us, and I was the least likely to et lost. Alandis probably would not get lost either. He seemed to have a good sense of direction, although he walked into a pole of a walk light. He was a bit awestruck by the busy streets and tall buildings and really wasn't watching where he was going. He must have lived a sheltered life . . . unlife . . . whatever. The most likely of us to get lost is K-9, who continued tail first wherever he went. Mikey kept an eyestalk out for him, and I kept an ey out for Mikey. After all, he only had one eyestalk.  
  
Now, McDonald's of downtown Cincinnati is a little hole in the wall, and it took some time before we reached our destination. Well, we took the scenic route! It was only a two block journey from our landing point, but it took us a half an hour to get there (not counting the money exchange). Once we got there, the Doctor and I had a conference as to what we wanted, while the others stood by exasperated.   
  
Now, this McDonald's was a small narrow place and not meant for two way traffic down the entanceway, muchless seating, but this didn't stop the place. There was a long counter with stools along one wall, and the dining area on a deck to the other side. Once you got to the ordering area, the place widened out significantly. So, we pushed Mikey ahead of us, and he blasted everyone ahead of us. Then we pulled him out of his place and went ahead of him. People, who sat at the counter on the stools, were now face down in their food. The Doctor and I moved the rest of the unconscious bodies onto the counter or under it. We managed to clear a path for the mechanical companions, and Alandis, who was rather disgusted by our methods, followed them. The employees didn't mind that we cut in front of all the unconscious customers. Actually, they were rather relieved.  
  
I went to the register and gave our order "We need twelve Big Macs, ten large fries, four chocolate shakes, and four chocolate sundaes," I ordered. I looked at Alandis, then turned back to the cashier. "You had make two of those Big Macs rare."  
  
"We don't do rare," the cashier answered indifferently.  
  
"Oh!" I answered, "Raw will be good!" Alandis hit me in the back of the head. His face was an even deeper shade of pink than when I introduced him to the Doctor. "Oh, we also need two chicken fillets and a bottle of Crisco for K-9."  
  
It is sad to say, that not only did K-9 not get his bottle of Crisco, he also got booted out of the restaurant. I tried unsuccessfully convince the manager that he was a guide dog, but somehow K-9's tendency of bumping into everything made this an unconvincing claim. So, he had to sit outside until we were properly done.  
  
This McDonald's had it's dining area on a raised platform, and one had to climb three steps to get there. Since the counter was still cluttered with unconscious bodies and we really wanted to eat at a table, we had to climb the steps. Since daleks and stairs don't get on well, Mikey stayed below. So, we chose a table next to the railing and near the ordering area.  
  
The Doctor and I ate and talked cheerfully about adventures and future plans. This is how I found out about what my dad was up to. Of course, the Doctor didn't know that my dad was the Master, and I wasn't about to impart such information. One of my future plans was to take Mikey back to Skaro. I got a 'Here! Here!" out of Mikey for such a discussion. I found out that Mel, the Doctor's companion had put him on a diet, and she had the computer know how to make such the TARDIS food dispenser did not yield up any junk food. What misery! And I thought Miriel was bad.  
  
While we talked, Alandis examined his frozen hamburger with much caution. He held the frozen pattie gingerly by the tips of his fingers and offered it to Mikey, who declined, but he happily accepted the dressings and the bread. Alandis undid Mikey's lid and tossed the two chicken sandwiches and two Big Macs minus the frozen patties into the can. Then he poured the fries and the milk shakes into the can. the dalek made loud eating noises, then a big burp. Alandis, afterwards, quietly watched us bored. The Doctor and I completely ignored him. Mikey sat in a corner. Other customers came over to him, flipped his lid, and poured their garbage into his can. He made gurgling noises and another bigger burp. Mikey continues to stand in the corner and accept all incoming garbage. I think he got more to eat than the Doctor did!  
  
"If you keep this up, you will grow out of your can, then where will you be!" I complained. Mikey only burped again. I swore the next time I went out I was going to get a "Don't feed the Dalek" sign.  
  
The Doctor, my companions, and I went to Grater's Ice-cream parlor next for dessert. K-9 got booted out yet again. Mikey joined him outside this time, because of multiple rude noises that he made. I ordered for us, and the Doctor inherited Alandis' order. We had cake and chocolate walnut ice-cream, and we were both sloppy eaters to Alandis complete disgust. He only tried to pretend he was not part of the party.  
  
We went to Walgreens afterwards. I got some anti-freeze for K-9's enjoyment. He happily shared it with Mikey, who really had more than his fair share of goodies for the day. Now, I found out that anti-freeze has a most interesting effect upon my mechanical companions. Just when I thought they couldn't get any sillier, they prove me wrong. So, the Doctor, Alandis, and I wondered the streets of Cincinnati with two tipsy mechanoids.  
  
The Doctor and I decided to go to Fountain Square. Now, Fountain Square has a few steps, but we managed to get around where Mikey and K-9 had to only fall down a few steps. Of course, there were ramps, so that we could get Mikey and K-9 out without having to carry them out. Although the Doctor and I only talked, the mecanicals went off to do mischief, and Alandis only went off. He went in search of some live food, and I think he may have did the city a favor by ridding them of some of the poultry. I wonder what the clean up people thought of bloodless pigeons. Mikey and K-9 played hide and Seek and other interesting games, that I am not sure were legal within the city limits. They messed up the elevator. It continually went up and down and never stopped. The escalator went faster and faster until it finally reached the speed of light. The two of them took turns on it, and they arrived before they left. There were a couple of ATM machines in the area. They screwed with them. They never got any money out of them, but then again neither did anyone else when they were done. I heard discouraging things about cards coming back in pieces. About midnight (and a couple of midnight snacks), Mikey and K-9 were missing, Then, suddenly, a car alarm went off. Then another. Then another. And then another. Soon every car alarm in the near vicinity went off.  
  
About that time, we decided that it was time to be moving on. So, my marauding mechanical mayhems followed us back to the TARDISes at full speed. We found Alandis leaning up against my TARDIS. He pointed at the digital clock above the TARDISes. It was printing out foreign words and letters at the city. It looked remarkably like dalekian. I looked at Mikey. The eyestalk just looked back at me.  
  
"I don't want to know!" I exclaimed. It is hard to tell with daleks, but I was certain that Mikey had a big grin on his green face.  
  
We made out retreats. The Doctor and I promised to do lunch again together. Upon entering my TARDIS, I found a strange dark haired thin pale woman, shrouded in a blanket, in my console room. Pressing business caused me to ignore her and hurriedly set the coordinates to get the hell out of here.  
  
I turned back to the woman, who stood swaying. Alandis went to her and put his arms around her for support. He helped her out of the room and to a place to sit.  
  
"Hi!" I said cheerfully to her," Where did you come from?"  
  
"She's Miriel," Alandis said with wide eyes of surprise.  
  
"Miriel?" I said. Miriel was a blonde healthy young woman. "Are you a Time Lady, too?" I asked.  
  
She shook her head 'no'. "I change my form every four months or so. It is always the same pattern."  
  
I cocked my head to one side. "Can you still cook?"  
  
"I am still the same person."  
  
"Excellent. Then we don't have a problem, and I shan't starve!"  
  
Alandis shook his head at me. He picked her up into his arms. "I'm going to take her to bed. She needs rest, and I will fix her some food, since someone didn't bring her anything," he said pointedly.  
  
I spread my hands in defense. "And what do you know of cooking?"  
  
"I know a might many things," he answered.  
  
Excellent! I have two cooks aboard. Alandis left and put Miriel to bed. Sometimes I worry about his affections for her, but he is the chivalrous type. Besides, why am I jealous. he's a vampire. Ick! She can have him. All in all, it was a good day. The Doctor was the sixth one, but that is alright. I can continue my search for the fifth tomorrow. 


End file.
